Scary SH*T: I’m a LOVE-aholic

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While looking through my recent ramblings on my computer trying to come up with an idea for a blog post, I stumbled upon the contents of my previous post. You should read it before you go any further………..

Okay, ready? So it took me about 2 FULL MINUTES to figure out who this was about. Messed up, right? I assumed it was about my current off and on lover/non-boyfriend, but IT’S NOT. This is from about 9 months ago. The fact that I thought it was about him illuminates a lot about my thought pattern in relationships/non-relationships.

  • This is part of the same document my previous post came from:

Just you and me
the boy with the  hair and the girl with the sunshine smile
Let’s move to the mountains and never grow up

Now check out this poem about my current non-boyfriend.

Seriously identical ideas. This is freaking me out. My analysis of this is that my version of “prince on white horse”/”white picket fence” is running away for endless adventures and awesomeness with my lover. So my repetitiveness about every non-boyfriend I have is just that I hope everyone I become involved with will be that for me. I guess just like any girl with any of the other dreams, but I didn’t expect that from myself. I’m quite embarrassed.

  • In the same post it alludes to “broken-heart boy.” This is another non-boyfriend that came before the recent two. Seriously? This is why I have been single for almost 2 years; I’m trying to break my addiction.

So what’s wrong with me? I am like the adult version of the middle-schooler doodling her crush’s name all over her  notebook. Over and over again.

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