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On the edge of a metaphorical cliff…what to do in life after July?


 I have been basking in the glory of having my “next step” figured out for about 9 months.  I was fully engaged and present to my post-college volunteer year in Washington. I still am enjoying the hell out of it, but now I’m nearing the end. The panic has been creeping in for about a month now. I have two more months until I am at the edge of the metaphorical cliff.

I have been ANXIOUSLY awaiting for a call back from my dream job for next year. By anxious I mean: “I’m going to have a heart attack if they don’t call  me by the end of today” three days in a row. To be fair, they said they would call “early” this week. It is Wednesday, which to  me is “mid” week, and looks like they are running out of time to call today, which looks like it will actually be a the “end” of the week.

Let me tell you why I want this job so badly. It involves traveling around the country for 8 months continuously and staying with the company’s contacts in all of the places (essentially couch surfing). To some people this would seem like a nightmare, but to me it seems like it could be the biggest adventure of my life so far. Also, I think this job was made for me. I am a natural people-person who loves to do presentations. The job is traveling to colleges to recruit for the company. Perfect. Absolutely perfect.

So you’re probably wondering how is a person who is Bipolar II going to cope with so much travel? I am going to counter that with another question; How would I survive without traveling. It is in my soul. I could not give it up for anything.

And I really have thought about the practicality of keeping a regular sleep/exercise schedule and remaining a vegetarian. I have myself convinced that it would be doable.

I DO have other half-baked plans for the cliff if this does not come through, and those too involve traveling and moving to a new city. However, getting paid to couch surf for 8 months is something I could never pass up. I am drooling thinking of the possibilities. And YES I know it will be tough, but so is everything else in life.


Seroquel Makes Me BORING!!!!


I want to give up the Seroquel. I am tired of it sedating me. I’m just not getting enough out of it to continue with the sedation. I miss 9pm-11pm!!!! That time is now me being restricted to the house when all day I am restricted to my office. I have been skipping it some nights and others I’ve been only taking a smaller dose etc. so that if I have to take it late, I won’t miss work the next day. The sedation of the 75mg is still affecting my ability to get up in the mornings. I’m done but I can’t actually stop taking it; I’m too afraid of the withdrawal. Although at this point, I would rather have to deal with some physical withdrawal than not be able to make it into work until 1pm anymore. My tolerance for this has gone way down.

I fucking miss shenanigans. Most adventurous nights in college involved drinking a lot and seeing what transpired. While this is entertaining, what I really lived for were the random nights of spontaneity like nights my friends and I would drive an hour to the beach at midnight to have a bonfire until 3 in the morning and nights we decided to stay up all night for no reason. Now my only outlets are snowboarding, thinking up pranks to pull on my housemates, and chain smoking (infrequently but still). While that sounds awesome, it’s all within a very small box of social acceptability. I hate that.

The Adventure Creed

Thoughts on life from my previous blog.

Infinite Adventure

The following list contains my basic guidelines for finding adventure in your everyday life. If you follow these few rules I guarantee, before you know it, your life will be full of new and crazy experiences!

1. The first step is to set your top priorities. My priorities are my family, school, my close relationships, and staying healthy.

2. Next, you must agree to any adventure that does not contradict or endanger your top priorities. The priorities ensure that even though you will be making new experiences, you will not neglect the important things and people in your life.

3. Realize that the best path to adventure is through meeting new people. You must befriend many different kinds of people who can show you different experiences that you might not have experienced otherwise.

4. Embrace every new experience. And YES this does include even the experiences that…

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